Parish (NE Atlanta,GA) - Creole and Cajun that blend French, Spanish, French Caribbean and African

Parish Foods & Goods
Creole and Cajun that blend French, Spanish, French Caribbean and African Cuisine
(404) 681-4434
240 North Highland Ave
NE Atlanta, GA 30307
http://www.parishatl.com/

DARIO " THE AVERAGE MAN" MOBLEY 6-25-2009:

This is what happens when I get upset:

STOP RIGHT HERE!!!!!! I can not possibly be fit to grade this restaurant because I am from New Orleans and I take it more than personal when someone tries to re create the New Orleans cuisine and fail miserably. NEW ORLEANS FOOD DOES NOT TASTE ANYTHING LIKE THIS!!!!!!!! Parish needs to take Creole and Cajun out of any description of their food. Remove it from your website and never utter anything that has “NEW” in it ever again. Unfortunately, this is the only Concentrics Restaurant that I have not enjoyed so far. So for this review, I must refer to Concentrics as Con - SHIT – trics. Where do I start? Well, I actually visited this restaurant twice so I got to see first hand what they were failing to do. Firstly, I went in there and asked the waitress for a Hurricane. The Hurricane is a really strong drink that is very popular in New Orleans. Pat O’Brien’s, which is located on Bourbon Street, serves the best Hurricanes. Here is the website for Pat O’Brien’s if you are interested:

http://www.patobriens.com/patobriens2/neworleans/

Anyhow, a Hurricane is one of those drinks that instantly brings out your “Sqenched Gremlin Face” or the "Ray 5-No Trump Face" at the first sip. For those of you who don’t know what that face is, it is that face you make when you see an attractive girl in a really tight dress or a fat, ugly, gorilla of a girl in a tight dress with her belly rolls poking out on each side. Do you understand? Okay, I am glad you understand. This was nothing like a Hurricane!!!!!! Secondly, a dish called “Crawfish Cheesecake” was on the menu and “The Foodie” ordered it because it sounded interesting. “GET THE GAT!!!!! I AM ABOUT TO SHOOT SOMEBODY IN THIS BITCH!!!!!!!! I apologize for the language because I never curse in my blogs but sometimes you have to cross the line to get your point across. This was horrible!!! Their were no “Craw” and damn sure no “Fish”. This was some lame baked unsweetened pie with some crunchy stuff baked inside. I still haven’t figured out what the crunchy things were. IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! I had some sort of fish for an entree. I will not tell you exactly because I would not recommend my fiercest rival to this place. Speaking of my fiercest rival, he has actually become an ally of mine these days. We were feared competitors in the game of basketball. We broadened that competition to Monopoly, Bid Whist, Sports Blog Writing and even internet slander portrayed in dialogue form. If there was a car crashing contest, we both would be dead. “Life”, as I call him, can tell you that I am not fond about lot of things in New Orleans but I have never uttered a negative word about the food. The reason is simple because if I did, I would be crazy. This is not a joke. I would be crazy and should be shot three times in my ass.

Anyhow, I visited Parish Food and Goods or as I like to call it, "Perish The Food and Goods" a second time what they marketed as a Mardi Gras celebration. Spock, are you out of your frickin mind? "Life", are you kidding me? "Truck", ARE YOU KIDDING?!!!!! They had the Shrimp Po-Boy cut into tenths with some sandwich spread on it, the muffaletta tasted like a bologna sandwich from Publix without a first name and the king cake could have been used as a deadly weapon because it was so stale. AND………………AND……..AND!!!!!! This teenage kid was boiling crawfish and after he would take them out of the pot, he would sprinkle the crawfish seasoning on top of it. YES, THE SEASONING. IT WAS NOT THE CONCENTRATED CRAB BOIL!!!!! THE SEASONING!!!!!!! I told him to stop multiple times and strongly considered jumping off the roof and placing my elbow squarely in the back of his head but I feared that I would land on the red beans that they were serving. Can you tell that the red beans tasted like dog food? WHY????!!!!! (High pitched voice)…….. Look, I am very frustrated right now as you can see. If you want some food that is at least close to New Orleans, here is the website to a decent restaurant:

http://www.pappadeaux.com/home/

This is the closest thing to New Orleans food that I have ever had. Anyway, the service and the setting was not that bad but the idea of trying to take a good thing and chop it up and stick New Orleans on it is just treacherous. It is just like when Nicky Barnes chopped Frank Lucas’ Blue Magic up in the movie “American Gangster”. Here is what Frank Lucas played by Denzel Washington told Nicky Barnes played by Cuba Gooding Jr:

“Blue Magic. That’s a brand name. Like Pepsi, that’s a brand name. I stand behind it. I guarantee it. They know that, even if they don’t know me any more than they know the chairman of General Mills….When you chop my dope down to one, two, three, four, five percent and then you call it “Blue Magic”, that is trademark infringement."

See, that is how I feel about New Orleans food. PARISH has committed Trademark Infringement. Does anyone have a shotgun? Anyhow, my grade for Parish is below:

F – STOP PLEASE. STOP AND RETHINK YOUR MARKETING PLAN!!!!! THIS IS NOT ANYTHING CLOSE TO NEW ORLEANS FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Eating,
Dario "THE AVERAGE MAN" Mobley